Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
