Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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