you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
