K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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