Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
