even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
