worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
