Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
