i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
