If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
