I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize