So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
