Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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