You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
