Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
