This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
