After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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