I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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