is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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