:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
