Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
