haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
