the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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