We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
