Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i think i just lost a toe
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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