I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So much rum. So many feels.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize