Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
