grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize