Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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