your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
