Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
