I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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