Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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