dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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