I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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