Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
