I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize