I wish I only lived at night.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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