I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
