So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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