now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize