Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
