their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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