I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
