Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
