He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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