This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
