Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think I sprained my soul last night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
