Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
