My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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