For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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