Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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