well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think my vagina is haunted
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you inspire me to be a worse person
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
