Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
