do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
