you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
