Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
is wine microwaveable?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
