An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
