I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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