My liver just broke up with me...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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