The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
