This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
