when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
