I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
